How to Calculate What Size of an Empty Suitcase to Take

          Getting the right sized spare suitcase for maximum bulk and weight is critical for any flight.  Remember, the more bulky and heavy, the more you love your friend who is driving you to the airport.  To help you properly express this, I have formulated a guide that will help you calculate what size of empty luggage to take.  Just follow these simple mathematical steps:

          1)    Take the number from the one’s place on the depth of your largest piece of checked baggage.  (ex: Depth is 12, so your number is 2).
          2)    Subtract five from the number in step 1.
          3)    Multiply the number from step 2 by three.
          4)    Square the number in step 3.
          5)    Add the digits of the number from step 4.  (ex.: 121 becomes 1+2+1=4).
          6)    Repeat step 5 until you have a single digit number.  (ex: 1234 -> 1+2+3+4=10 -> 1+0=1 -> Done.)
          7)    If the number from step 6 is greater than 7, subtract 5, otherwise, add 4.
          8)    Pick the letter of the alphabet that corresponds to the number in step 7 (ex: A=1, B=2, C=3… so if your number is 21, your letter is T).
          9)    Pick the state that begins with the letter from step 8.  (Note: for two word states, Like South Carolina and West Virginia, go by the first letter of the first word.)
          10)    Pick the second and third letters of the state that begins with the letter from step 8.
          11)    Pick a mammal that begins with the letters from step 10.
          12)    Your Done!

          If your extra suitcase is smaller than this, get a bigger one.  If it is approximately this size, then:
          1)    Don’t call me to take you to the airport.
          2)    Welcome to Africa!



E’ya! - Tate